


creature of habit

by general_tyson



Series: reason to stay [3]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caduceus Clay Deserves Nice Things, Caduceus is just a little creature, Cuddling, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Sharing a Bed, Yes Cad and Fjord are together but Cad is still pining, because Fjord and Cad are dummies, he cannot help this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:55:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26159863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/general_tyson/pseuds/general_tyson
Summary: Caduceus is a creature of habit, and it seems his latest one involves a certain half orc and the soporific pulsing of his steady heartbeat.(Or: an exercise in wanting)**Disclaimer/Spoilers for CR2E114: This was conceived and written before confirmation of canon ace/aro Caduceus. Future fics will be written with this in mind**
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Fjord
Series: reason to stay [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1887076
Comments: 7
Kudos: 121





	creature of habit

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of my ‘reason to stay’ collection but can be read independently. (But also check out the collection for more pining and fluff and dumb boys)

It’s nice, having a home they’ve built from the ground up. Well, a house they were gifted and then in which they built a hot tub and a garden from the ground up. Caduceus always enjoys projects, and the Xhorhaus certainly provides plenty of opportunities to fulfill that urge. Especially now, with the weeks they’ve all been away, the garden neglected in that time. Apparently Veth, in her hurry to hire a housekeeper, didn’t really give Vedalla any instructions regarding maintaining Caduceus’s rooftop garden. 

Although, Caduceus supposes, drifting upstairs to check in before getting started on dinner, the garden doesn’t get enough light for it to get too overgrown, and any weeds that have sprouted will offer a nice, mindless task to occupy his time. The Nein just landed back in Rosohna after a successful but draining operation in Zadash, and Caduceus could use some quiet.

He unpacks his bag and gets to work on the garden before dinner, trying to remember what they left in the pantry before the Gentleman called them away. There was some high society type that owed him a favor back in Zadash, and they were being dodgy, so the Gentleman called the Nein in to find them and set them straight. It involved far too many formal parties for Caduceus’s taste; he liked the attire but not the way the folks looked at him like he was on display. Didn’t like the way it made Caleb and Beau’s hackles raise, although they were a great help, being the most familiar with this kind of folk. But, they’re back, and Caduceus can set those less pleasant thoughts aside as he decides on making a stew on whatever they have lying around. Some things might be a bit stale, but that’s nothing a little magic dust can’t fix.

Garden cared for, he meanders downstairs to start on dinner, the rest of the Nein popping in and out to help, or distract, or chat. Beau comes by to prep drinks, Caleb swings by to say he’ll be working through dinner and not to wait for him, and then Veth comes in to say to not listen to Caleb and that she’ll drag him to the table if needed. After they’ve washed up Fjord and Yasha both come to help him prepare, and Jester loudly laments the lack of any pastry ingredients while wondering if Essek will get them cupcakes if she asks very nicely. 

It’s nice, being back in their house, the sounds of his chaotic at times but well intentioned friends surrounding him. He enjoys traveling, of course, but it’s always good to go home. 

Fjord is at his side, which certainly doesn’t hurt. Relegated to stirring the stew pot after his last attempt at cooking, he grins up at the cleric when he catches the cleric looking. Caduceus smiles back, gently squeezing his shoulder before going to call everyone to eat.

Dinner lasts several hours as the group starts discussing their future plans over second helpings of stew and far too many of Beau’s cocktails. They don’t precisely have any plans for the near future, hence the lack of a need for a discussion in the War Room, but spend several hours reflecting on their last job and discussing various tasks they’ve put aside for the time being (Veth keeps an extensive list). At some point in the evening, Fjord’s arm ends up slung over the back of Caduceus’s chair, and he happily leans into the touch as the group chatters.

Eventually, the group breaks to whatever nightly pursuits they get up to. Caduceus knows that Caleb will be up for several more hours, researching or making spells or whatever it is he does, likely with Veth assisting in some way. Jester will stay up with the rest of the girls gossipping, unless Yasha comes up to the tree to have some tea with him. Sometimes Fjord will join for that tea, or some meditation, but he always helps him clean up after dinner before wandering off to do something or other. It’s nice, slipping back into their routines now they’re in the Xhorhaus. Caduceus likes the regularity of it all, the routine, likes going around to check in on everyone before bed to offer one last cup of tea. 

He and Fjord finish up in the kitchen and they depart together; Fjord’s room and the ladder to the roof are in the same general direction, and Fjord trails in front of him as Caduceus juggles his teapot and cups. Fjord pauses at the door to his room, glancing over his shoulder to Caduceus, who’s moving towards the ladder. He opens his mouth to say...something, Caduceus doesn’t know what, half reaching a hand out like he’s offering to carry the teapot, but he waves Fjord away, reshuffling the items before starting to ascend. 

Fjord looks confused in a way Caduceus doesn’t think warrants the situation, frowning slightly as he disappears to his room, but the cleric shrugs it off and goes upstairs.

A snap of his fingers turns the tree lights a soothing dark purple-blue, using the now dim glow of the lights to guide his way as he puts away the teapot and goes to his sleeping area. After they crafted the garden upon moving in, Caduceus spent several days growing and cultivating a bed of moss curled within the roots of the tree for himself to sleep. He’s found it more comfortable than many of the inn beds he’s slept in, not least because he crafted it large enough to fit all seven odd feet of him.

Stretching out on the moss and gazing up at the eternal night sky, Caduceus curls up under his blanket and feels the moss below shifting ever so slightly to cradle him comfortably.

_ This is nice. _

_....... _

_ This is weird. _

Caduceus is confused, to say the least. There’s no reason for this to be so strange. He’s certainly physically comfortable, moss is great like that. And the weather is fair, so that’s not an issue. His instinct is to say it’s too quiet, but that doesn’t make sense; there’s plenty of ambient sound: the wind rustling through the uppermost branches of the tree, check. Nice comfortable background noise from those in Roshana who are more nocturnal, check. He should be perfectly comfortable! But there’s something missing that he can’t quite pin down. 

He turns onto his side, instinctively pulling up his legs like...like he does when he and Fjord share a bed.

Oh.

_ Oh. _

That’s the missing sound. Another body shifting next to him, the quiet sighs Fjord makes when he scratches the short hair of his undercut. A heartbeat, strong and steady under Caduceus’s sensitive ear when he tucks his head under Fjord’s chin.

_ Well, shit. _

The moment he realizes what’s missing, Caduceus knows he won’t be able to sleep without it. Caduceus is a creature of habit, he’s well aware of that. And it seems like the latest and perhaps most foolish habit he’s picked up as of late, is letting himself be lulled to sleep by the steady beat of his person’s heart. To be fair, they did just spend two weeks together sharing a room, which allowed them to cuddle in a way that just wasn’t the same sharing the dome with the group. And sure, maybe they didn’t need to spend every night curled up in the same bed, but ever since that first night when Fjord had so nervously asked him if he wanted to share....well, it seems Caduceus has also picked up the habit of being unable to say no to him.

_ This is foolish. Fjord’s probably asleep by now anyways. No need to go bother him. You’ll be fine. _

He’s able to convince himself of that for about fifteen minutes, during which time he feels no closer to sleep than when he first laid down. Sleep has always come easy to him, especially outdoors, and he spends a good ten more minutes mentally berating himself for this unnecessary need, this want that he feels, for Fjord’s warmth at his side and hands in his hair.

Caduceus is heading downstairs before he can come up with an explanation why and is just climbing down the last rung of the ladder when the door to the tower opens and Fjord smacks into his back.

“Shit, Deuces, sorry about that. Wasn’t looking up, I guess.”

Caduceus turns into Fjord’s outstretched arms which came up reflexively when they ran into each other. “I thought you were supposed to be able to see in the dark.”

“Ha-ha.”

Fjord’s arms are still outstretched like he’s ready to catch the cleric, one resting on his arm and the other his side. Fjord looks down at them in surprise, but doesn’t move.

“I was just-”

“Oh, I was going to-”

They laugh, somewhat awkwardly. Caduceus is still scrambling for an explanation for his presence here and decides on honesty, as he so often does. Full honesty this time, not his occasional mostly-truths, because Fjord deserves it.

.“I couldn't sleep. Without you, around. Apparently that’s a thing, now.”

And it’s hard, for Caduceus, to admit this. To admit there is a need, that he needs, that he can’t deal with this by himself, alone, not burdening anyone, that he cannot be enough, even for himself.

But...

_ But....Fjord’s here. Fjord’s here, at the bottom of the ladder, on his way to you. Needing, as well. Wanting the same way, if his body language is anything to go by.  _

The half orc’s hands are still on him, still gently but steadily holding him in place, as if Caduceus isn’t exactly where he wants to be.

Fjord ducks his head and looks up at him through lowered eyelids, “So, uh, my place or yours?” He flashes a smile that the cleric knows is probably meant to be seductive, he’s seen him use it before on marks, but the nuances are somewhat lost on him. Caduceus doesn’t mind, though. It’s still a good look on the man.

He laughs a little, because he thinks it's the right response, and says, “Come upstairs with me? It’s a beautiful night. Well, not night, it’s always night. It’s nice outside, anyways.” Fjord agrees, and follows, and then retreats back to his room for the blanket he apparently forgot in his rush to get to Caduceus.

_ You’re over-embellishing it. Don’t overreact. _

Fjord follows him up the ladder, a hand brushing his ankle as they ascend.

_ Probably because it’s so dark and he can’t see properly. Probably an accident. Nevermind the fact that besides Caleb, Caduceus is the only one of the group who can’t see in the dark. _

Caduceus makes straight for his bed, hoping Fjord can’t read the sudden tension in his shoulders and trying not to stare at the way Fjord’s eyes shine in the lights of the tree. There’s a brief spark of anxiety in his chest, that Fjord will think the moss bed strange or uncomfortable, but that’s quickly extinguished by the relief Caduceus when Fjord lays down next to him and Caduceus immediately folds himself in to curl up with the man, head on his chest, right by his heart. Fjord pulls both blankets over them, meticulously arranging it over the cleric and flinging the other over his own body.

_ This is nice. _

“Hey, Deucey?”

He likes that nickname. “Yeah?”

“I couldn’t sleep either. You, uh, you probably figured that out, seeing as how I was coming upstairs. But I still wanted to say it.”

His face tucked securely into Fjord’s chest, Caduceus allows himself a wider smile than he would normally, comforted by the beat of Fjord’s heart and the care evident in his words. “Thank you for telling me,” he murmurs, face still pressed into his chest. “Felt weird, being up here by myself. Didn’t care for it.”

“Yeah,” Fjord agrees, moving his hand up to gently card through Caduceus’s hair, “I think we got a bit spoiled, spending so much time in the same bed in Zadash. Made my bed feel empty.”

“Oh, cause I take up so much space, huh?” Whatever retort Fjord has planned is cut off by the mischievous glint in Caduceus’s eyes as he cranes his neck to look at the half-orc, planting a kiss at the corner of his mouth. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Fjord’s expression softens, and his free hand comes up to cup Caduceus’s face, his thumb running over his cheek and lips. Again, there’s something in his expression that Caduceus can’t name, can’t identify the emotion behind, but this one makes something in his stomach do somersaults and his heart beat faster, so he won’t press it.

Eventually he settles back, head resting above Fjord’s heart, the man’s hand still combing through his hair. As he’s drifting off, Caduceus thinks of the rightness of it all, and feeling just a bit proud of himself, for going after something he wanted. It’s still hard, wanting. But he’s finding that being wanted in return makes everything else a little easier.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Cad pov for this collection because his I'm Legally Not Allowed To Want Things mindset just gets to me and I want to give him nice things. Come yell at me in the comments if this is any good!


End file.
